Pinterest is that cool girl in school that you want to be seen walking with down the hallway. She texts you, like, all the time. At first you loved it when she emailed you, “Let’s hang out on the lawn,” but then after two weeks, you stopped responding because you saw the lawn and there were already 40,000 girls there. She obviously doesn’t need you to come to the lawn, even though you know there’d be amazing, tiny cookies shaped like butterflies and characters from GIRLS. You’re tempted to text her back, but you know she’ll keep texting you anyway to invite you to a Gatsby-themed party with vintage beads and pink chandeliers.
That one time when it was raining, you almost, almost made a “My Dream Wedding” board with Pinterest. You started looking for backyard/country themed reception spots and the top 10 places to have your rehearsal dinners in New York City. You almost went down the rabbit hole of picking which minimalist, yet fantasy wedding dress you’d get, but you realized, “Wait. This is Pinterest. What am I doing? It stopped raining 3 hours ago.”
Things got a bit weird with you two when FANCY started to get into the picture. FANCY was the hipster boy you couldn’t stop scrolling down on. He was a bit geeky, but in the hot way. He knew the latest gadgets, like the weird new heating mug that came from Japan. Pinterest stepped up her game and e-mailed you some more. FANCY was still cool, but not as popular as Pinterest. Everyone knew who Pinterest was, so you decided to hang out with her again since it was more convenient to link with your original friends, Facebook and Twitter. They all clicked.
You’re always tempted to hang out with Pinterest, even though you know she’s too perfect and you’ll never be able to make that vegan spinach crepe with toasted almonds recipe with her. She sends you another email saying, “It’s a mason jar party!”
You respectfully decline and unsubscribe from the mailing list.